Silly me for thinking that I can dodge the inevitability of a crisis Pumped on antibiotics, drowning in fluids, second guessing whether to go out when the weather forecast predicts sun or snow I mean.
I tell myself to dance in the rain. Whilst I play. Play a personalised game of minesweeper as I get deeper into this world. Trying to go through life without triggering it or detonating it
It .. The ‘it’ that’s shaped like a c, that gets stuck in me and makes me squeeze my eyes shut so i can’t see until I’m desperate enough to fall to my knees and beg PLEASE ***
Literally bleeding on the inside, crying on the out .. I find myself sitting there lifeless taking what seems to be my last breathe.
It. It travelled at the speed of light.. It’s excruciating painful electric jolts hit me so now I must fight Inhale exhale inhale exhale inhale exhale ..
Nitrogen oxide They try to put me to sleep because they couldn’t give me my daily feed of narcotics In my veins like a crack addict I had to have it ..
Diamorphine Singers like j holiday stay using metaphors like I suffocate to musically convey ones absence but I mean mine literally
Harmonising with Mary j when she sings no more pain as my organs suffocate from the oxygen they need.
I mean I guess this can only be fate I already had my talk with God.
The whys and the how’s. Asking if he could reverse back time so I won’t be born instead of living with it now
But I was trained to be a fighter. Battled with insecurities, denied of opportunities and dealt with the possibility of not being able to carry my own child But you see that ain’t stopped me from shining any brighter.
Smiling from ear to ear I brace life conquering my biggest fears fulfilling my dreams so I can help people like me And best of all I made it to 22.
Praise God This is for my sickle cell soldiers. Yes we are at war every crisis fighting ourselves but remember we are all healed by his stripes
And even though we may be a picture of health battling this invisible illness of constant pain. We have been blessed with burdens that have only made us stronger
And when the devil is chasing us we need to remember that God is for us and we can always lean on him
Source: Stream Aljazeera